It happens alot. It happens in Facebook, it happens in Twitter and it happens in email. Marketers striving to attract better business partners do it and can’t understand why they aren’t achieving their goals. Are you doing the same thing? Read on and see if you are committing this very common mistake…….
Are you talking down to your readers? Are you making the mistake of assuming everyone who follows you on Twitter has less experience or knowledge than you? How about when someone wants to befriend you on Facebook. Do you automatically think it’s because they’re some newbie who is seeking your wealth of knowledge? Before you say “No, of course not” you might want to read on……
Even if we don’t think we have that attitude, we can unknowingly be sending that very message in our replies on our social networks and in our followup emails. For example, just looking over recent Twitter messages we noted a high percentage of things like “Hey, thanks for following me. If you want to work from home and succeed, educate yourself first.” (actual message with website following). The assumption being that everyone except that person apparently is not successful….or educated!
Follow-up email series are often full of similar language. It’s important for all of us to keep in mind that not everyone signing up for our newsletters or ebooks or courses is a newbie with no marketing experience. We often connect with like-minded people and sign up for their newsletters, only to be disappointed that they assume everyone is a newbie and lacking any experience.
We’ve sent friend requests on Facebook and received back messages like “Thanks so much for requesting to add me as a friend. I love helping people who are struggling in business, so please let me know what I can do for you.” Hmmmmmmm……..
When we patronize people connecting with us we often push them away. There is a fine line between sharing information that could be helpful and jumping to the conclusion that everyone else in the world knows less than we do. Perhaps a better approach would be to first assume that the person connecting with us could be someone who has a helpful tip for us instead of the other way around.
What do you think? Have you experienced those kinds of messages? Share your thoughts, we’d love to hear what you think!
To your continued success,
Robin and Judy
11. July 2010 at 10:17 pm
Oh yes! I get them all of the time especially on Twitter. One recently sent a DM thanking me for following them and went on to say “here is a gift for you” which was followed by a link to “their” website.
OK, if they were looking for a hit on their website, they got it. But that is all that they will get!
Just Me Saying´s last [type] ..When is the Last Time you Went Out to the Movies
13. July 2010 at 8:25 am
Don’t you just love those messages? I’m trying to picture that scenario in a face-to-face networking event…. We’d shake hands with someone, introduce ourselves, then hand them our business card and say “hey stop by my website for a free ebook I’m sure you’ll enjoy.” … All without ever asking that person’s name or what they do, etc….. Just assuming what we have to offer is so spectacular that apparently everybody in the world would rush to grab it…
Gotta love it…..
Have an awesome day,
Robin and Judy
12. July 2010 at 9:02 am
Well said. Yes, I have been guilty of that, more in one-on-one than in print. Thank you. Good reminder. Good post.
12. July 2010 at 9:23 am
Francis,
We’ve done that to some extent over the years. Especially when it came to calling people who had responded to one of our business ads. It was so easy to assume they wanted to start a business but had never done so before. It became quickly apparent that we needed to always first ask about their past efforts before assuming they were new entrepreneurs!
Thanks so much for your note!
Sincerely,
Robin and Judy
12. July 2010 at 9:06 am
Excellent post!
I love helping people, I always ask permission if I can share something with them.
I want to ask their blessing first.
You make a great point, care about people first and build the relationship.
Thanks for sharing.
Glad we are in TSA together.
Maggie Lancy´s last [type] ..Be the Best you can be- Change is Positive-
12. July 2010 at 9:19 am
Maggie,
Your blog reflects your desire to help others….. Such a great attitude to have. There is that fine line between helping others and treating others as though we THINK they need help (if that makes sense).
To your continued success!
Robin and Judy
12. July 2010 at 3:56 pm
I love this post!! We all need a reminder of this from time to time. Keeps us all humble!
Thanks!
Wendy Hewlett
Wendy Hewlett´s last [type] ..Napoleon Hill Wants To Be Your Mentor
13. July 2010 at 8:21 am
Wendy,
Thanks so much! Staying humble would probably help us all avoid that mistake! Good point to keep in mind!
Thanks for sharing,
Robin and Judy
12. July 2010 at 4:32 pm
Thanks Robin and Judy. I’ll try and remember that when I get that far
. Now I’m just trying to get my site done. Thanks a bunch!
Bill Cowan´s last [type] ..Never Hold This In-
13. July 2010 at 8:20 am
Bill,
We’re sure you won’t have that problem….. looking forward to your continued success!
Best,
Robin and Judy
12. July 2010 at 5:11 pm
It’s so irritating when people treat me that way that I’m careful not to do it myself! It took a while to learn, though – I’m sure I was guilty of it in the past. I love Maggie’s comment about seeking permission: sometimes those words are all we need.
If you’re really interested in helping people, why would you not want to find out what they need help with first? Assuming we know the answer to that is about the worst of many bad assumptions we can make!
Thanks for a great post, Robin -
Alan
Alan Jenkin´s last [type] ..Do You Like Calling Business Leads
13. July 2010 at 8:31 am
Alan,
Thanks so much for your comments. We definitely were guilty of it in the early years and didn’t mean to be. You make such an excellent point about finding out what people need first…. such a good point to keep in mind! Thanks!
Sincerely,
Robin and Judy
12. July 2010 at 8:03 pm
Oh, I like that!
It does bother me when people send those messages. They don’t even know me, yet they presume to offer help. I would much rather have their hand in friendship and build the relationship from there.
Great message!
Val
Val Wilcox´s last [type] ..Go With the Flow
13. July 2010 at 8:17 am
Val,
Thanks so much. We’re all for learning from other people but we’d like to at least be made to feel like the ‘expert’ doesn’t think we’re five years old… It’s so much nicer to share information with others that to presume they’ve signed up for our newsletter because they don’t know anything at all. We’re quite sure that in our early years, we insulted a few good people along the way but we are so much more conscious of it now we cringe each time we see others making that mistake.
Wishing you continued success,
Robin and Judy
12. July 2010 at 8:47 pm
This is an excellent point you’ve made. I will be more conscious about the words I am using in my communications and posts from now on. Thank you for bringing this up!
Eddie Espiritu´s last [type] ..Black Diamond Builder Review
13. July 2010 at 8:11 am
Eddie,
Thanks for stopping by. We really appreciate you sharing your thoughts!
Have a wonderful day,
Robin and Judy
12. July 2010 at 10:40 pm
Great points here. There are many ways to sabotage our efforts when using social media and honestly I had not considered this. It seems like many people are just trying too hard to impress other people that they don’t know rather than taking the time to get to know them. Kind of goes hand in hand with those who send friend requests with invitations that are nothing more than blatant sales pitches.
Kathy Jodrey´s last [type] ..Your 90 Day Plan to Freedom – Summer Scenery Series Video 2
13. July 2010 at 8:10 am
Kathy,
Yes, those ‘friend’ requests are more like “hi, I’d like to be your friend but even more than that, I’d love for you to buy my stuff….” As for our own efforts, there really is a fine line we walk between providing information and sounding like we think our audience are all new to the field. Sometimes, it can be in how we refer to other people as well. For example, I once watched a video of a fairly new-to-the-scene expert introducing another person for that day’s training. It would have been a great place to compliment that person and speak well of their work, etc. Instead, the person was continually referred to as “one of my students” by the other presenter. It was said in such a way and so many times, that it ended up making the presenter sound like they were only interested in making themselves look important. That’s when I stopped watching.
Thanks so much for your thoughts…..we appreciate you!
Best,
Robin and Judy
12. July 2010 at 11:44 pm
You speak the truth . . . but you would speak it better if you just come and check out my blog.
Just kidding.
I’m right there with you. When I get messages like that the sender goes right into the “do not read” pile because my time is too valuable for self-professed “experts” – I prefer to learn from those who have a collaborative/sharing mentality. Thanks for sending this much needed message out Robin.
Mark Hiatt´s last [type] ..Networking Lessons From a Cockroach
13. July 2010 at 7:51 am
Mark….love your humor…. LOL Thanks so much for your comment.
Have a great day,
Robin and Judy
14. July 2010 at 7:43 am
Isn’t this why GOD gave us the “DELETE” button. If I don’t see their full name, decent picture, and a warm greeting without a commercial, I do my best “Chuck Baris” impression and “Gong” them with my Delete button.
Nelson´s last [type] ..“Ride Em Cowboy”
14. July 2010 at 1:49 pm
Nelson, you have a point about the delete button….. Sometimes, though, we’re so focused on everyone else’s shortcomings that we forget that we may be making similar mistakes in our marketing…particularly if we tend to assume our audience knows less than we do. We may unknowingly be getting the ‘gong’ ourselves… .
Have an awesome day!
Robin and Judy
14. July 2010 at 7:45 am
Robin & Judy, Excellent point here! I’m sure I have patronized more than once. I guess it stems from having an “Alpha” personality. I’m sure I have ended up in peoples “do not read” pile, like Mark mentioned in the comment above. perhaps a completely different approach is something I should take a look at. Thanks for the great eye opening post!
Joseph McDevitt´s last [type] ..How To Make Your Own Lead Capture Page
14. July 2010 at 2:00 pm
Joseph, thanks so much for you comments. It’s an easy mistake for any of us to make and not so easy to recognize when we do. Hindsight is always great for that and we’ve patronized our fair share of people over the years…and have been mortified to realize when we did. Ah, but when we know better, we do better……
Thanks again for stopping by….we appreciate you!
Robin and Judy
26. July 2010 at 6:41 pm
Hi Robin,
nobody likes being patronized. You made a good point there. It is very important that we treat everyone with respect.
Finding out about where people are at can help and prevent assumptions.
Thanks a lot for your post.
Cheers
Yorinda
Yorinda´s last [type] ..Joy is the Goal
28. July 2010 at 10:11 pm
Hi Yorinda…
Yes, it is important to try to not speak “down” to your listeners, readers, customers, family members, friends, and everyone else. It seems so easy to do, that we think most of us, are just not aware of the fact, that we are patronizing. It made for a lot of thought for us, so we wanted to share some of those ideas and thoughts with all of you.
To your success, always…
Robin and Judy
10. August 2010 at 9:24 am
Thanks Robin for that post it just reaffirmed what I have been doing without knowing it. I assume everyone is at least equal to me in knowledge and more knowledgeable in certain areas.
Thanks again,
Michael
10. August 2010 at 7:38 pm
Michael,
Thank you…. you summarized it so well. We should all think the same way…….
To your continued success,
Robin and Judy